Think tank calls for “Transgender PM”

A first transgender prime minister would greatly benefit Britain, according to a left-wing think tank.

The suggestion was made at the annual conference of Liberals4UK – a group who claims to draw attention to “major social issues which don’t actually exist”.

The organisation’s president, Les Smith – who would not confirm their gender – said: “We’ve had centuries of white, middle-aged men running the country, along with one women who looked like one.

“Instead of having a male or a female, who would of course prioritise their own gender’s demands, we believe that by endorsing a transgender candidate, neutrality can be achieved once and for all in Westminster.”

The idea has been slammed by realists who considered it “barmy”, while others complained about “wanting their country back” and hoped that a transgender PM “wouldn’t be an immigrant”.

A Pie in the Sky News reporter questioned Smith on the feasibility of the concept who commented: “It’s simply untrue to claim that a transgender can’t attract votes across the political spectrum.

“In 1998 Dana International stormed to victory for Israel at the Eurovision Song Contest, while bearded-lady Conchita Wurst cemented a triumph for Austria at the most recent edition of the event.

“There is no reason why this can’t translate into parliamentary elections,” said Smith.

Cornish Talks failed in their efforts to contact Labour leader Ed Miliband – an intern at the party’s office claimed he was “still trying to cover the evidence from stabbing his own brother in the back.

We did however speak to Ed Noballs, who could potentially be the country’s next chancellor. He said: “I completely agree with the claims made by Liberals4UK.

“Providing it is likely to win votes, Labour will enact a policy requiring all-transgender shortlists for prospective parliamentary candidates in constituencies scattered across the country.

“We will not however bother at our Scottish branch where it seems we are totally fucked.”

Liberals4UK also made headlines last year when they proposed that the long-standing green benches in the House of Commons should be replaced by a rainbow.

The UK’s next general election will take place next month on 7 May.

Disclaimer: For those lacking a sense of humour I can confirm that this story is a work of fiction. I cannot, however, confirm that it will not be true at a later date.

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