Pressure group calls for uniform bottle caps

Milk companies are under increasing pressure to diversify bottle tops after receiving complaints from a colour rights group.

Traditionally, bottle tops have been represented by blue, red, and green, indicating full cream, skimmed, and semi-skimmed milk respectively.

But Ann Ightmare, chairman of Justice for Colours believes that this is discrimination to the rest of the colours in the spectrum. “It  is incredible how this sort of blatant colourism is allowed to go unchallenged in modern society,” she remarked to a Cornish Talks reporter.

“What have blue, red and green done to deserve this dominance? There are other colours who have just as much right to be there. Take yellow for example, a fresh vibrant colour that has been the face of banana Yazoo with great success,” continued Ightmare.

Justice for Colours were originally set up as a single-issue pressure group in 2005, to challenge the red, amber and green monopoly at traffic lights.

Ightmare also expressed concern for the welfare of colours that are rarely seen by the general public.”Burgundy for example hasn’t been seen since Anchorman 2.

“What I hope Justice for Colours is doing is raising awareness of discrimination. Groups such as the Colour Defence League (CDL) have spread a toxic message about maintaining the status quo, rejecting what it has called ‘immigrant’ colours,” she said.

Asked on what she hoped could be achieved in the future, Ightmare hoped that in time all milk bottle caps could be represented by a rainbow.

“Whether or not anybody knows what product they are buying is irrelevant. What is important however is that we celebrate diversity and that all colours feel accepted in a tolerant and inclusive society.”

But columnist Izzy Foreal blasted the proposals for regulated bottle caps as “undesirable” and a display of “obscene political correctness”.

“Quite frankly the world’s gone mad. Blue, red and green have been identified with bottle tops for as long as anyone can remember. It isn’t about rejecting colourism, it’s about certain individuals wanting to lead this country into a utopian nanny state,” claimed Foreal.

We contacted several milk companies but none were available for comment. However all assured us that the concerns of single-issue pressure groups were placed far above those of the general customer.

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